Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
