I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
