Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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