um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
