I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
