Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
