The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
