i think i have two assholes
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
