Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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