My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
