At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
