Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
