you would pick up someone in the library
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Randomize