Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
