WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
