If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
