It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
