When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
