This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
