So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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