i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
