Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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