You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
