1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
