i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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