Screwed.edu
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The struggles of a small town man whore
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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