thus making me awesome and them whores
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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