I can tuck mytits in my pants
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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