do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
