I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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