my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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