No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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