You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize