Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
