She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And my parents said I crawled through the house
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
