Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
