I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
