Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
