All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
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