There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
