you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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