this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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