he puts the penis in happiness.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
