Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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