"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
