Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
