K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize