You made me cry and you don't even care
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
