I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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