Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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