he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
