dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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