yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
