kristin has been a bad kristin
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
