youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
