i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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