Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
