Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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