I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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