Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize