I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You are the jesus of drinking
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
