I'm jealous of your bromance
I want to make a zoo with you.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
