i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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