YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Randomize
